Power rankings after three puny weeks

Can we tell anything from just these few games? Well, I can. I already know everything that will happen for the rest of the season, and who will win what. But to humor you, I will pretend not to.

1. Chicago Fire: Winning 1-0 over New York at home isn’t that impressive in itself. Doing it without Cuauhtemoc Blanco and with ten guys on the field is a little more so. Preseason ranking: 2
   
2. Seattle Sounders FC: No Montero, no problemo. Preseason ranking: 11
   
3. Chivas USA: Eduardo Lillingston and Gerson Mayen are stone killers in red and white stripes. And the defense is performing admirably. Big clash with Seattle on the 18th. Preseason ranking: 6
   
4. New England Revolution: Old, hurt, and still winning. Do they really have the talent level and the energy to keep this up for long? I’m still skeptical, but I’m having fun watching. Preseason ranking: 7
5. DC United: Beating Houston is good. Beating Houston with defense is spectacular. Dejan Jakovic deserves a week in Aruba for his effort against those big forwards. Preseason ranking: 8
   
6. Real Salt Lake: The destruction of the defending champs was phenomenal. But it’s looking like Yura Movsisyan won’t be repeating his surprise 2008. Paging Findley and Johnson. Preseason ranking: 4
   
7. Toronto FC: This needs to be Guevara’s offense or DeRosario’s offense. It can’t be both. And a solid center back has got to be top priority for a midseason acquisition. Preseason ranking: 5
8. Houston Dynamo: It’s not time to panic yet. It is, however, time to think about playing through the wings a little more as long as Brad Davis is outplaying Stuart Holden. Preseason ranking: 3
   
9. Columbus Crew: Somebody call Dr. House, because something is wrong with these guys, and no one seems to know what. I know I have no idea. Preseason ranking: 1
10. Colorado Rapids: Congratulations to Conor Casey on a great game against LA, but the Rapids would have lost the exact same game to any team in the league that actually plays defense. Preseason ranking: 12
    
11. Kansas City Wizards: A solid performance and a deserved three points over San Jose. But they’re going to have to continue to be opportunistic, as they don’t seem to have the talent to be more. Preseason ranking: 15
12. Red Bull New York: With a decent performance in the losing effort in Chicago, it’s too early to say that I was right and everyone else was wrong about the Red Bulls. But I’m looking at the clock. Preseason ranking: 9
13. San Jose Earthquakes: Well, the offense appears to be back to normal. In 90 minutes in KC they really never managed to look threatening or make any passes up the field. Preseason ranking: 11
    
14. Los Angeles Galaxy: Remember when I said the defense would be somewhat better than last year? I lied. Preseason ranking: 13
    
15. FC Dallas: I think we can now accept that Kenny Cooper will find a way to score goals. Do we need any more proof that Dallas needs something else to happen, too? Preseason ranking: 14
    

Preseason Power Rankings

Everybody's doing it, and therefore so should I. This logic has introduced me to so many wonderful things in my life. Without further Adu:

1. Columbus Crew: Didn't feel the need to mess with a winning formula. But can you really just sit on a championship in today's league?
   
2. Chicago Fire: These guys have so many weapons at their disposal I'm starting to think they may just be funded by the Pentagon.
   
3. Houston Dynamo: If their offense gels around Stuart Holden, which I think they will, they're still the class of the Western Conference.
   
4. Real Salt Lake: Javier Morales goes from the most underrated player in MLS to a legitimate star. But is the defense behind him solid enough?
5. Toronto FC: Serious rearmament starts with DeRo and Vitti, ends with the best MLS team draft in recent memory. Finishing in front of goal will be key.
   
6. Chivas USA: Another team with a mess of scoring options. Drop them down a few notches if they don't get a top replacement for the likely-departing Sascha Kljestan.
   
7. New England Revolution: The perennial deep playoff runs are over. But a core of Ralston, Joseph, Twellman and Reis is nothing to sneeze at.
8. DC United: Makeover 2008 went so badly, it necessitated makeover 2009. Assuming Gomez still fits in, the question marks are the new defenders. Again.
   
9. Red Bull New York: I'm still not sold on these guys. With van den Bergh gone, who on this team besides Angel genuinely makes things happen?
10. San Jose Earthquakes: An entire season of Huckerby and a more proven crop of forwards complement a solid defense. Out of the cellar for the Bayside Bhoys.
    
11. Seattle Sounders FC: Fredy Montero can't really be this good, can he? If the defense can hold its own, the playoffs aren't out of the question.
12. Colorado Rapids: Why are they always content to field an entire squad of roleplayers? If everyone just meets expectations, this isn't a playoff team.
13. Los Angeles Galaxy: Their defense looks somewhat better than last year. Maybe this year they'll only give up 52 goals instead of 62. Ick.
    
14. FC Dallas: The defense isn't the best organized, they're overdependent on another banner year from Cooper, and the midfield has lacked a true star since Juan Toja.
    
15. Kansas City Wizards: There are some blue-clad candidates for a breakout season, but on raw talent the team is lagging well behind in the loaded East.